My Mom

How do write a post about one of the most important people in your life? How do you say goodbye to someone who has always been there? My mom, one of my best friends, left us suddenly on July 30, 2020, and every day since has just been a series of figuring out life without her. I miss her so much and just wish I could talk to her. I wish I could tell her all of the little things that have been going on and talk to her about all of the big things, as well. My mom has always been there and always available for me to call. I can’t believe that she is gone and now we only have memories.

It is the little traditions that I have come to count on, without even knowing it, that tug on my heart. Walking into Costco and not being able to call and see if she needs me to pick anything up. Or like tonight, the night before Myles’ birthday, wanting to call and recount the story of Bryce and I calling my family, who had just arrived in Minnesota, to tell them my water broke, seven weeks early, and that I was on my way to the hospital. I can hear my mom getting choked up and telling me how nervous she was. I remember her telling me how the whole house was up all night worrying about the three of us. And now I have to create a new tradition and hold those memories of our old tradition close to my heart.

I have spent a lot of time, over the last couple of weeks, thinking about what a wreck this year has been. 2020 has been a struggle for all of us. I don’t like this year at all but I have managed to find a silver lining to it. First I’ll explain that for the last eight or so years the kids and I have gone to visit my parents on Fridays and when both the kids were in school I went to visit on my own. Now back to 2020, like many families we have been home since March. We made the choice to stay away from everyone so that we could continue to see and help my parents. (We didn’t want them going to stores or out in public where they would be around the coronavirus.) Because of this, it made it where the kids and I were going up to see them more often than just our weekly visits. My silver lining to the quarantine is that my kids got to spend three months’ worth of Fridays with their Gramma that they wouldn’t have if this year hadn’t turned out the way that it did. 

I love my mom and miss her so very much.